Happy Summer Solstice!

The days are longer and it stays light until about 8:30pm here. I love looking at the fireflies at dusk and the hummingbirds are just humming along at our feeders in those lazy afternoons. Crazy hubby

has put up at least 6 bird feeders. He really loves to make the birdies happy! He also put in another fishtank, and we recently took a trip to the store to buy a few finned friends. I swear he od'ed on Mutual of Omaha as a kid on Sunday evenings, just like I did.

Life is settling down a bit finally. Mom, Gd rest her soul, was a saint. She was amazing and was very much the glue that connected the old-world generation to us. We had a Father's Day Barbeque in my cousin, Mark's backyard and it was just classic. Lots of conversation, some of the crowd swam in their pool, and a perfect evening where no one wanted to leave. The food was terrific and I really enjoyed a rare glass of wine. My cousins all knew the heartbreak I had endured and despite trying so hard to keep things light, there just was that heaviness in knowing Mom was not there to enjoy those stupid burnt hotdogs, chasing it was some good cold chardonnay. I had some for her, and I hope she enjoyed the wine as much as I did. As usual, the more intellectual of the crowd ran toward me and engaged me to talk politics and religion, because nothing really upsets me and I do enjoy a good meaningful disagreement every now and then. Hubby stayed in the background, which he tends to do anyhow. Probably thinking far away thoughts like where to put up even more bird feeders and fish tanks.

Our garden is producing a bumper crop of lettuce and I slowly turning into a rabbit. We are also having fun with our pea plants which are, well, pea-ing nicely this summer. Out tomatoes are starting to tomato, but those won't be ready for a few weeks yet. Oh, I cannot wait to eat those tomato sandwiches! Also, new on the (hah!) bucket list was our new plantings of Raspberries, in the new "fruit orchard". Those, with luck, will be ready to harvest in a week or so. I plan on making Raspberry preserves and can them if not then eat them. We transferred the pepper plants into the garden and I hope to transfer the basil plants as well. Lots going on in Gorby Farms.

I just got word that Mizz Thang lives with a cat now. She is thrilled. We are not. However, I highly doubt that I will be sleeping over again in Oberlin any time soon, and it is her pal's cat, and thank goodness the landlord was ok with it. She loves her house, her friends, and now the cat. Oberlin is better for it all. She has another 2 years to go, and I hope that she stays healthy and happy.

Mr. Sonnyboy returned from traipsing all over Europe but based in Denmark. He is at Richmond and squirreling away his money while he applies for scholarships. I think he may stand a good chance of something like a Fulbright or Luce etc. Pretty soon he will look forward to applying to grad schools, but that is yet to be seen. He seems pretty jazzed about the future, other than possibly AI wiping out human progress and all of humanity, but them's the breaks kids...

Life is not the same without Mom, but it does go on,, and I have reopened the studio, I am back to "show business", and I made the hard decision to stop doing wholesale as there just is no room for profit. It is a positive move and a realistic one. I am in quasi retirement, and this also creates more space for me to travel and enjoy my family, instead of living out of a suitcase all the time. Trust me, after 30 years of that, you would be thrilled not to do that.

An end of an era

My mother passed away unexpectedly 2/4/26 at 10:30pm. She was about to enter hospice care, but didn't even make it to that point.

It began innocently enough. She had the flu, and so did my dad. This all was happening while we were winding up our 25th anniversary trip to Hawaii on Kawaii. We flew to CA, and were supposed to spend 2 more weeks there, but received that dreaded phone call no one want to hear:" Hop on the next plane and come home immediately," my poor Dad gargled long distance. We flew back the next day, and just in time for a huge snowstorm making its way across the US. Our plane was the last one to depart from Phoenix, our stop, and our pilot bravely navigated our tin can above the storm. We landed safely and everyone on the plane clapped with relief. It was a miracle that we got there. Loads of planes were cancelled and we were lucky to make it out of there without any problems.

The problems, of course, were waiting for us. Mom had been in the hospital in NJ for 2 weeks already and we ran up there after the storm dumped tons of snow in the Northeast. I got there in time to speak to her, and while very unwell, she was able to talk to me for some time, and had a lucid conversation with us. Despite the doctor's best efforts, she contracted an infection had pancreatitis, several strokes, and 2 heart attacks. At this point, she was discharged into the nursing wing of my Dad's new spot in an assisted living location. She hung on for a few more days, fading away, and at a certain point, while she was barely conscious, I had to have her agree to a DNR, which she did. She did have her marbles, but was ready to go. My daughter managed to make a phone call to her from college, telling her how much she was loved and how she was going to work very hard to become a doctor. My son, lost somewhere in Sweden, was unreachable at that point. We did not tell him until later.  

She was worn out, and death came quickly and quietly. I was there holding her hand with my hubby, until about 8:30pm when we told her we would see her tomorrow first thing. We were exhausted, and had no idea that she would be gone after we spent all day with her. i was grateful for that amount of time, and she knew that we were there. They say the last thing to go is hearing, so I am sure she knew how sad we were to see her go. I said that if her sister, my Aunt Bobbie, was there, to go with her. She would see her mom and dad, her cousins, her uncle and aunt, all beloved family members. I know that some traditions call this time, a"home-going", and this is quite accurate. I hoped that they welcomed her some good scotch, burnt hot dogs, and melted ice cream, her favorite things in the world.

At 10:30, we received the call from the staff nurse that mom had died. She was having a lot of trouble breathing, and I was honestly relived that she was at peace. I just wished I was with her at that moment. The nurse weirdly announced that we had to "get the body (!) in 4 hours". I was so offended and upset, but held my breath. I called the funeral home, and they were so kind. They took mom and asked us to bring a quilt and put the word out. They called the cemetery, and everything was set in motion. In the Jewish faith, you are supposed to have a burial in 48 hours or less, but due to the snow and the weekend, we had to wait until the following Tuesday. Mom was buried 2/11 on a grey day with sleet at the mausoleum. I said my first Kaddish, the prayer for mourning. I could barely get through it. Dad and I called everyone we could and I put it out there bold as brass on my Facebook page. Word spread and we had a lovely turnout. Relatives that I had not seen in 30 years were there. Coworkers from my mom's NYC Ad Agency days, temple folks, neighbors, friends, and others came to support. My cousins held the Shiva (like a Jewish wake), and several people from my temple in PA came up to support, and eat good Jewish deli, a rare thing in the wilds of PA.

Once we returned back home to PA, we had to deal with my dad who was barely functioning as his partner of over 60 years was gone. They new apartment they had chosen together felt hollow and empty. It was beautiful with the snow on the ground and the leaded windows, but empty without her smiling presence. My dad decorated with huge amounts of paperwork and notepads and half empty ink pens. He accented this with paper coffee cups and a donut box. I was tasked with getting my mothers clothing sorted and given away, a mammoth task. I was amazed that despite my mother's taste for chic simple clothing, her clothing that I gathered was mostly worn, pilled, stained, and 30 years old. I was shocked that she never threw anything away. Her makeup was there and was from the 1970s. I took anything that I knew could use a home and the rest I gave away to charity. Putting things of my mom's that I remember her wearing into a charity bin was a feat of emotional endurance. At that moment, I could see how people become hoarders: Never letting go of emotions that are tied up in worldly things.

This month has been the most difficult of my life. Between my parents' move, my mother's death, and the chaos that ensues over a complicated life taken away suddenly, I am looking forward to turning the page and seeing the daffodils and forsythia bloom in a show of healing and joy.

Aloha!

Our 25th anniversary is getting a late start in the celebration department. Normally, it is Veteran's Day Novermber 11th. However, we decided to combine our trip out west then hop off to the home of Aloha

and Mahalo, Hawaii. We actually planned this for our 20th, however a little minor thing called Covid 19, wreaked havoc in the world, so we saved our pennies for our 25th, and are flying first class. This will be the first time we have ever gone there. We are most definitely veterans. Of the cattle class.

I am looking forward to a 6 hour journey all tucked in and drinking Champagne, or whatever people do in 1st class. I am grateful that we can do that. We are visiting Oahu and also Kawaii. I plan to swim with the fishies, turtles and dolphins, and wear a lei and enjoy a very non kosher luau with hubby in tow. He is so reserved, but always enjoys having adventures with me. I dunno, we are like old shoes with each other. We feel so at home and comfortable even though we are totally different. We have a great marriage. I am the cream cheese to his bagel. Or something like that.

We have been hanging out in Palm Desert, in the Greater Palm Springs area for a month now. I have adapted to the West Coast pretty well. Dogs in tutus sometime with their owners in tutus, the amazing Mexican fare that we enjoy, the gorgeous scenery, the crazy surreal desert flora and fauna, it is just heavenly. I managed to do some gem mining (Pala Mines), went to the Desert art scenes at East Jesus and also Slab City (see Netflix), and the Vintage Shows in Palm Springs. We tootled around Joshua Tree National Park, Pioneertown (a Wild West Film Set), at careened up and down Route 74 to get out to Temecula. We even took in a Spa (Azure) in downtown Desert Hot Springs, where the waters do their wonders. We also managed to get to the Palm Springs Art Museum and dined at the famous Le Valauris., which is an experience, albeit super $$$, for our twins' 21st brithdays while they were briefly in town. Sonnyboy had just come in from Shanghai (JYA) and Mizz Thang was here to heal and study for the MCATS.

I would live here full time, as I do not miss the ice-capades my friends and family are dealing with back East. I do miss them, but perhaps while I am looking at the hummingbirds dash around as I wallow in a hot tub, I say, ya know what? I earned this, big time. And now that I have retired from wholesale, I am finally enjoying the fruits of my labor, in all of the sandy glory that awaits us. Aloha!